Sickening
by SkywardShadow
Summary: It's filthy. Absolutely sickening, the way I can't stop thinking about you even after everything you've done. -Lateshipping- -Drabble-


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any characters therein.

**A/N: My first attempt at writing Amane. Here's hoping it turned out alright.**

**-|-Sickening**

You were my first love. And my last.

You were the voice I heard-the taunts and the laughter-when I walked by the door. You were the ghost, the apparition I saw whenever I got the courage to open said door. The gravity-defying hair, sharp canines and deathless eyes-I thought you were a demon.

Maybe I still think so. I'm not sure anymore.

It was strange at first-probably owing equally to the facts that (1. You were either a ghost of some sort or a figment of my imagination, and (2. You bore a startling resemblance to my twin brother. The fact that you always seemed to regard me as an amusing little toy rather than a girl helped as well, especially since you struck me as the kind of boy who liked to break his toys when he tired of them.

You were…enthralling, I think might be the word. You were morbidly fascinating at first, in an 'I-want-to-look-but-definitely-not-touch' sort of way. Which eventually progressed; somewhere along the line you became fascinating in more of an 'I-want-to-look-and-actually-I'd-rather-like-to-touch-as-well' way.

The overall weirdness of the whole thing basically quadrupled when I realized you existed within that gaudy and vaguely creepy ancient Egyptian ring/necklace Father had brought my brother one year. Yes, I figured that much out-despite what you clearly thought about me, I wasn't stupid.

To this day I'm not all too clear on why you were the one I fell for. Maybe your powers include intoxication, messing around with human pheromones or something; I don't know. All I know is that it started with a glance caught out of the corner of my disbelieving eye, and that it morphed into an interest. Which, by the laws of natural progression, became something like an abnormally strong crush.

And-to an extent which, knowing you, was probably small-you were interested in me too. Maybe I was the only one who didn't run screaming. Maybe I was the only one who could see. Maybe you just thought I was cute. And maybe the Earth is flat.

Incidentally, making out with a ghost/figment/demon (I really should have cleared that up at some point) was extremely disconcerting when I thought about it-which wasn't until _much_ after, but still. You were transparent, after all, so how did that even work?

…I'm losing my focus.

When my brother's friends started disappearing, I wondered. Particularly, about the possibility of his RPG games and/or you having something to do with it. I was willing to consider the RPG bit because really, at that point, I had less-than-zero faith in my own sanity and figured I had nothing to lose. And I considered you because…well, for the obvious reasons.

I may have fallen for you. That didn't mean I overlooked your involvement, as little as it impacted my feelings (that right there tells me you were messing with my mind-I never would have mooned after someone who was hurting my family).

I decided to tell whoever would listen about you and the Egyptian artifact and the role-playing games, because it had suddenly become important to the lives of people besides myself and that meant I couldn't very well keep it a secret anymore. Who gave a damn if they thought me insane. _I_ thought me insane.

I happened to be walking home from school as I made this resolution.

A car happened to speed past a stop sign as I crossed the street.

I'm sure you know what happened next. And I can invent my own theories as to why, not that it matters anymore.

Did you have something to do with it? Maybe. Do I care? No. Dead is dead, after all.

Nowadays I watch from my little corner of the universe as you wreak havoc everywhere, in different places and different times all at once. I see you as a madman and a strategist and a copy and a thief, as a warlord and a general and a gamer and a genius and a fool. I see you at your coldest, and I also see you save my brother's life. I see you everywhere-in this way, at least, my death and last few months of life are similar-and I wonder.

What do I wonder? Here's a hint: it begins, 'How can I still be so obsessed with someone when'.

Now, it _should_ be something like '_How can I still be so obsessed with someone when he is so obviously evil?_'

What it _is_-and this sickens me, the extent to which you screwed up my emotions-is:

'_How can I still be so obsessed with someone…when I don't even know their name?_'

**-|-End**


End file.
